Horndogs and Hosebeasts – a Spectrum (Part 3)

Part 3 from my 2018 essay on #metoo and where porn fits in – JB

In these days of diversity as the answer for everything that is wrong with the world, it is ironic that some are trying to make the case that men and women are essentially the same – or at least should be. One such voice is liberal feminist film-maker Jennifer Siebel Newsom, wife of handsome but useless California Governor Gavin Newsom. In her rambling documentary ‘The Mask I live in’, through the use of dubious uncredited statistics and disjointed interviews with party-til-you-puke frat boys, fatherless gangbangers, and overachieving pro athletes, Ms. Newsome argues that we are living through a ‘pandemic’ of juvenile male confusion about what it means to be masculine. Yeah,…no Jennifer, we’re not. You just went out of your way to avoid interviewing  anybody who is well adjusted and thoroughly comfortable in their own testosterone-laden skin. Granted, a movie featuring a statistically accurate number of full grown manly men might not get you a screening at Sundance, but you could at least call it a ‘documentary’ with a straight face. I got an inkling of what was coming early on in the film when a female psychologist confidently proclaimed: “Gender is a social construct”, blithely ignoring decades of research and several billion years of biology that suggest genetics play a substantial role as well. Perhaps Newsom should have saved us all some time and just posed the question “Why can’t a man be more like a woman?” (With all due respect to Henry from ‘My Fair Lady’)

Google Engineer James Damore made the fatal mistake of questioning the relentless quest for diversity in the workplace through an extremely well researched memo on gender differences and how they apply to job skills, performance, and aptitude… and was promptly fired for his efforts. Four social psychologists reviewed the memo and agreed that it correctly summed up the current thinking on brain, gender and behavioral differences between men and women. One went as far as to say it would have made an excellent graduate thesis on gender differences in the brain. But gender differences are not what a forward-thinking company like google wants to celebrate apparently. So the question is: As a society, how hard do we want to struggle to even up the ranks of plumbers with women and midwives with men?

While many men would not object to being referred to as a horndog, it’s a rare (and some would say wonderful) woman who identifies as a hose beast. (Bridgette B jumps to mind!) Women occupy a spectrum of femininity ranging from angry man-hating feminist social justice warriors, Russian weight lifters, and ball-busting corporate executives all the way over to runway models, ballerinas and librarians. Completely off the scale, ‘gaming the system’ to their advantage, are the women who embody the hosebeast ideal: Pornstars like Sasha Grey, with strippers, prostitutes, and gold-diggers close on their spiked heels. These are the women who trade in the business of sex – which is arguably what most horndogs are after, in return for money, security, social status or all of it. Most women fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum too. And professional testosterone ticklers like these present a clear dilemma for a movement that is arguing there’s a systemic problem with masculinity itself.

 

A Duke University Student who started appearing in adult DVDs to pay her tuition and goes by the totally awesome porn name ‘Belle Knox’, was outed by porn-loving Duke frat boys, and in interviews began proudly claiming that screwing on camera for money was empowering to women. Feminists disagreed citing the obvious – Porn is generally created by and for men, and is notorious for depicting women as whiny, submissive seductresses, or worse – helpless but horny victims. Adding insult to injury, porn actresses are paid by the scene and usually share none of the ‘back end’ (no snickering guys). Men around the world, upon learning about Belle and her professional empowerment, applauded her bravery and offered to empower her in every position of the Kama Sutra.

 

So…Do pornstars identify with #metoo? It turns out they are trying to get a fishnet-clad foot in the door. Actress Nikki Benz recently filed assault charges against adult mega-studio Mindgeek, director Tony T, and her former co-star Ramon Nomar for alleged abuse and rape that occurred during the shooting of a ‘rough sex’ scene. The problem is, most adult directors have a behind-the-scenes camera running at all times and ask all kinds of litigation-killing questions during shooting breaks (Are you OK? Are you having fun? Isn’t Ramon’s man-tool incredible?) Inevitably pornstars answer these questions in the affirmative, not wanting to lose the work or worse, get a reputation of being hard to work with. Once a DA sees the behind-the-scenes footage, most assault claims fade away faster than you can say ‘money shot’. Ms. Benz is going for 5 million. Mindgeek can afford it, but probably won’t pay a dime. The director and male co-star have countersued for defamation of character…and I think they weren’t kidding. With talentless porn directors always on the lookout for more shocking content, expect more of these lawsuits.

 

The #metoo movement seems to be making the case that the system itself needs to be changed and there is a conversation there, but it’s more vitriolic champions may also be spearheading a misguided and doomed-to-failure attempt at meddling with the forces of nature. Or it may simply be a lesson in the power of social media to make a movement seem more widespread than it actually is. So where does Sasha Grey, who has made a healthy living portraying insatiably frenzied weeny queens, fit into the mix?. I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that most women, while allowing that Sasha Grey has every right to invite a roomful of men into her rectum, would say it’s definitely not for them. But are ‘most women’ posting #metoo horror stories? Is Sasha Grey? Twitter has around 330 million users worldwide. 62% of them are women. #metoo has generated 1.7 million tweets around the world since it was started, and over 300,000 of them are from empathetic if confused men. So, of the 204 million women with twitter accounts around the world, about .84% of them felt motivated to share their nasty man-stories, assuming they only tweeted once. The actual number of individual women may be much lower. Of course, Twitter was only the beginning and the movement grew on Facebook, and other social media platforms as well, but it would appear that there’s quite a few women who have not participated.

 

Hosebeasts like Sasha Grey and Belle Knox, Las Vegas Hookers, and the multitude of talented, beautiful gold diggers that operate in most urban areas are inconvenient realities for the #metoo movement, which has so far seemingly steered well clear of attacking any of them.  They are for the most part – willing participants in the traditional gender/sexual roles of men and women, and are masters at manipulating those differences to their advantage. Perhaps the leaders of #metoo know better than to take on the global fixation with pornography. Studies on pornography and rape tend to follow studies on horror movies and murder: There is a connection for individuals who have “pre-existing tendencies” for rape or murder, but no such link has ever been demonstrated among the general population. Just as most horror movie fans don’t feel the need to go on a killing spree at the end of the movie, most men who watch adult DVDs don’t expect their blind date to beg for an after-dinner gangbang. It’s fiction. The same people who would like to see slasher movies banned, generally also think pornography should be illegal. Will #metoo ever go after porn? With adult-related traffic occupying up to 30 percent of all internet bandwidth, I think it’s safe to suggest there’s a lot of men and a fair number of women who don’t want to live in a world without porn.  Porn also presents an easy and inexpensive escape from the minefield of modern dating in the post #metoo era, and for many men and women who are unattractive, chronically shy or socially awkward, presents the only sexual activity they may have access to.

The #Metoo phenomenon can only be a good thing in the long run, providing it doesn’t overshoot it’s goals. I am fully on board with the unmasking and prosecution of men (and women) who abuse their professional position to force sex. I’m also for incarcerating rapists…who isn’t? However, if the movement continues to attack the very nature of masculinity itself, it risks alienating millions of women and may end up a footnote in the history of social justice movements.

Johnson Bangerwell